Homecoming...

This past summer was a complete blur and the ultimate lesson in patience, perseverance, and the importance of timing. I only just last night realized that I haven't written anything here since February and so many important things have happened. I'll nutshell it. School for me wrapped up in May...the last of my pre requisites, with the exception of physics (more on that later, as I am in my own personal conceptual physics hell right now). Summer kicked into gear for Miles and Sam in June...we packed in a ton including Sam's first, day camp experience (a roaring success), M traveled with his dad, stepmom and little brother and sister...so lots of beach time, sea kayaking, his first time surfing and as much parkour as possible...the kid amazes me. On top of that we celebrated birthday month (July) with 8, 16, and 40 trips around the sun, respectively. It was a big summer...and now here we all in the midst of fall.

School has begun for all three of us, Evan is our rock working diligently and providing truckloads of support and encouragement. Sam couldn't love school more...he is still the happiest kid I know and he is enhancing his school experience by joining the chorus. I can't think of one day when our little songbird hasn't walked through our house singing. I love seeing him stretch his wings and finding joy in the things that he loves. Junior year of high school is a grind and I can't say that M is finding any joy in it...other than when he's in his art or photography class. But I do see him making time for the things that he loves the most...film, open gym time for parkour practice, his friends and really, just being a kid. It's all fleeting and it makes me happy to see that he's living in the moment and enjoying 16.

And me...I made it. I am finally immersed in my program of study...my future, and all that I can say is that it feels like coming home. I loved the nursing program that I was in, some twenty plus years ago. I was good at it...it felt like where I should be. I would have been a really good nurse. And now I will strive to become a really good PTA. Healthcare is where I should be and I feel my heart, mind...and I'll go as far as the universe, confirming that for me in these past couple of years. More so in these past few months though. It's a brave new world and despite a handful of meltdowns last week, I am embracing the challenges one by one. Aside from my school schedule, every day is different. I am sitting by myself, at Panera, midday while I write this and that makes me feel giddy. I love the change. Even when it's scary, I know that I am grounded, loved, supported and capable of pulling this off. I am empowered.

Junior year

Second grade

College...round two.

Entrenched and happy.

The very best year for a fresh start, in my humble opinion.

And so it begins again...

I am elated, empowered, excited...and all of those other wonderfully positive E words that I've been throwing down around these parts, as of late. School is in and here I sit making flashcards and cramming all sorts of fun anatomy & physiology facts into my cluttered little cortex. I feel amazing because this it it...one full year until I officially dive head first, full time into school and actively changing my path. It's time to plan, simplify and prepare. It's both scary and invigorating at the same time...insert roller coaster metaphor here. And I've never been a fan of them really...they scare the shit out of me. Just the thought of a roller coaster makes me want to throw up and so does this big adventure at times but over all, I am powering through the fear (and nausea) and reminding myself that I am going to kill it in school...or at least I'm going to try! A few snaps below of the end of summer and early fall...

15

Lunch at "Daddy's workshop"

My lunch date.

The view from our table.

Another lunch date with the bean.

Spiderman eating a Batman pop at the Zucchini Festival.

End of the summer trip to Maine. Beach boys.

He looks so grown up to me.

Sammy has adopted the peace sign pose. I think it suits him.

Skim boarder.

Pool time fun...

...sort of anyway.

Beach love.

Trolley love.

Wee little cleats.

Orange Boy...a super helpful study partner.

Back to my beloved books.

Study pugs...they provide excellent moral support. I think that their snoring is a motivational tool.

The best birthday gift.

Sugar fix.

A homework room with a view.

Well said, Julia!
Happy Fall!

The conversation went something like this...

6 pm, Monday night at the dinner table...

Me- So Sammy...Daddy and I had a good meeting with your teacher today.

Sam- What did she say?

Me- She said that she loves you and that you're a great kid...and she told us about all of the helpers in class that you work with on math, reading and whatnot.

Evan- She also told us that sometimes you're a goofball in class and that she would love it if you try a little harder to pay attention and do your work.

Sam- (lots of wiggling in his chair, eating ketchup, sort of acknowledging what we're saying with that sweet/sly little grin on his face)

Miles- Is he going to get held back?

Me- (eyes bulging out of my head, horrified expression on my face, giving the cut off sign, hoping that only M can see me)

Sam- What's a held back? I'm going to give you a held back, Miles! Mom...how do you do a held back? (clearly, he's thinking it's an exciting new wrestling move)

We redirected Sam to adding actual french fries to his ketchup and that was pretty much the end of that conversation.

The truth of the matter is...we are pretty sure that Sammy will be repeating first grade. We're not 100% certain but at this point, it seems likely. Our little Sam is a dreamer...and he's young...one of those tricky July birthday boys. You just never quite know if they're going to take off or struggle when they begin kindergarten at 5. The same was true of Miles when he was little, although his developmental age stood out more in second grade and we discussed possibly having him repeat that year. M is an old soul though...always much more serious than his little brother and somehow after falling a little behind each year, always in the winter time, he would rally and catch up to the rest of his class. He really stretched his wings when he started middle school and now, in his first year of high school, the kid has become an academic powerhouse. Sam I Am is just a different little personality all together. Funny, free spirited, outgoing, incredibly dramatic, super chatty and happy happy happy. He is going to need another year in first grade. It will give him the time that he needs to grow developmentally, and a year of being top banana will be so good for his self confidence. He's a smart little guy but he has always moved at his own, very deliberate pace. He just needs a little time...both Evan and I know this about him. Does it still make my heart ache a little...you bet. And it tears at Miles too...I can see it. He reminds me so much of myself and how I've always felt about my younger brother. He's worried that Sam will be sad. I told him that might be the case, but that we can all make it ok for him...and we all know that the skeeter is resilient. He's like a duck...it just all rolls off his back. We hope that'll be the case here as well. Such a sweet, happy kid. He's going to do great things...both of my little loves will. I just know it.

Then...

...and now.
There's a whole lot of love there.

Like mother, like son.
What's not to love about a little brother?

Ease up a little, mama...

Alright...so the word "simple" is definitely not the one that I'd choose to describe anatomy and physiology. It's effing hard, people...but I really am doing my best to take it all one step at a time, while keeping my potential panic attacks at bay. It's a lot to absorb and some nights it just makes me straight up bitchy, but Evan is a trooper and is rolling with me like he always does. He pours my coffee in the "Don't Stop Believing" mug, every morning. Good man. I adore the guy...I really do. And my little guys...they inspire me.

86 yo...and that's a good solid B+. I'm not gonna lie...I wanted to, at least, hit 90 but four points away isn't really all that bad. I'm cutting myself some slack, considering that this is the first quiz I've taken in 20 years...and I'll throw in the full time mama, wife, 40 hour a week job as a reminder...just for good measure. Not bad Jenny girl...not bad at all.

Miles, on the other hand, is an academic powerhouse this year. High honors twice. I NEVER brought home a report card like that. The kid has a serious case of responsibility and self discipline and I can only hope that it'll rub off on me.

And this little skeeter is battling a wicked cold...last night was ugly. No sleep for mama and Sam. He was still bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning though. Me...not so much. Two cups of coffee helped.

Even when he's sick, he's still the happiest little guy I know.

Sammy did a little coloring while I made a and p flashcards.

Study sesh with the Skeeter...

...and Kiko.

BK drive thru and the car wash makes Sammy really happy.

And off we go, bright and shiny. This shot makes it look like it's winter here but it's really not and I find that totally creepy. How about a little snow already!

Finishing off a low key day with a vapor bath and, as always, a smile.

My cinematic motivator for the day. I am completely overwhelmed with school right now and I'm trying so hard to keep this all in perspective...focus on my end goal...helping people through physical therapy. This movie is amazing and at the end, they show clips of children and adults who are handi-capable or who have lost limbs, swimming with this incredible little dolphin. It makes me cry every time and inspires me. Super sappy...it is...I know, but it's good to find little reminders and encouragement in unexpected places.

Back to work.
Happy weekend!

Simplify...

This is my word for the year. It's all encompassing, as I intend to apply it to as many aspects of my life as possible in 2012. I'm thinking of tattooing it on my arm...just kidding...not really...I think I actually might. I even find that I silently repeat this word in my head, several times a day right now because I have this big, fat, new adventure ahead of me. After almost twelve years of being a collection girl, I've decided that a change of career is in order and in a couple of weeks, I will be going back to school. Just one night class to start with, then if all goes well, a summer online course and another night class in the fall. Nine months after that will require a massive leap of faith as I plunge head first into a full course of study. Wait...I just had a little heart attack. Ok...well that passed. I actually think that it's good to scare myself a little sometimes...to stretch my comfort zone a bit further than it might like to go. It's both terrifying and exciting, all at the same time. But it's good...definitely good and I'm happy that I am finally shifting my direction. Miles and Sam are both still young, but old enough to be able to roll with a little bit of change in our routine. They are my main concern, as I have been very present for these two from the time they were born. Money is my second worry...but that's a constant anyway. Evan is wonderfully supportive...my true partner. We are surrounded by family and I have a kick ass cheering section. So...let the adventure begin. It's time to re learn how to be a student...and time to simplify the things that I'm able to. Baby steps...

A resolution for this year...I am not going to buy myself any new clothes or shoes. I don't shop extravagantly but I am a sucker for a $6 shirt on the Target clearance rack...those little impulse buys add up though. I don't NEED anything...I have plenty, so this year my goal is to use what I have in this closet and in the words of one of my favorite guys, Tim Gunn, I am going to "make it work."

My final shoe purchase for 2011...super comfortable, on sale and quite possibly the cutest pair of shoes that I own.

Our fourth bedroom...it has been the catch-all spot since we moved into this house almost eight years ago. It shall now be known as the...holy crap, I am going back to school and I need a place to study, room.

Hmmm...what's a girl to do with this blank white wall?

Perfect.

Much better.

This picture nearly makes me cry. A new matress...sniff sniff...a good night sleep. Evan and I have each been sleeping (if you can actually even call it that) in our own personal mattress ditches, with a speed bump in the middle, for months. I feel like I'm 80 when I wrench myself out of bed in the morning...we both have back issues...you get the idea. I am looking forward to all of the benefits that a comfortable rest will bring this year. Good sleep makes everything feel a little better.

Sammy and Kiko approve.

Sammy demonstrating how Ev and I are going to feel tonight.

Oh how we all love the new bed.

Happy weekend.

Simplify, simplify, simplify.